I was diagnosed with ALL on September 29,2009.  Since then, I’ve finished my freshmen year of high school at home and finished 3 phases of chemotherapy treatment.  Now I’m in maitenance and it’s supposed to be the easiest phase, but its been pretty difficult so far.  Instead of spending 4th of July in Disneyworld like I was supposed to, I was stuck in the hospital with a fever and super low blood counts.  I’ve been off most of my chemo for about a month now because I had a rash, but my blood counts are still taking forever to improve.  It’s really frustrating because it’s preventing me from going on my vacations and going out with my friends.  It’s hard to explain this to any of my friends because they don’t truely understand.  They just keep telling me to stay strong, but in order to stay strong you had to be strong in the first place and I don’t feel very strong.  To top it all off, all of the changes that my body has been going through has made me extremely self conscious.  I didn’t lose all of my hair, but it is significantly thinner, I’ve gained about 15-20 pounds, and I have tons of stretchmarks, oh yeah and my face has become the roundest thing I’ve ever seen.  I handled everything really well for the past 10 months, but now I’m really starting to lose it. Thanks for letting me vent.

July 9, 2010 by  
Filed under Side Effects

  • Sarah Sims

    Heey. i was diagnosed with ALL as well in september 2009. september 8. so were not that far apart. im also in maitenance n they told me it was the easyest and it is not puke so much is good. i lost all my hair but i dont care. n i gianed wait as well but i think it better to gain then to lose coz the docs. when i lost wait they put a NG tube down me and fed me. i was in ICU for christmas eve n morning witch sucked. my friends dont understand too. i have had some friends that have left me coz well idk maybe coz they didnt like seeing me the way i was and what was happening to me. my face is pretty round as well but once you finish you can work the wait off. there are some make up moves you can make to help ur face no look as round. i hhhave been of my meds for 1 mouth now coz my counts just drop really low and seem like they dont want to come back up. i guess i can say i knnow what ur going threw. If you want to talk u can E-mail me its mallfreak95@hotmail.com

    Sarah.

  • jazminmendoza.

    hello(: my name is jazmin as the school year started i lost 20 pounds in less than a mmonth felt tired and weak and my body ached bad. i use to get up at 6 in the mornin to get ready for school but i was to tired to even wake up at that time i would wake up last min before the bus would come. i pushed myself everyday to make it through another day of school until sept 23 came.. i was in class i started shaking,sweating and felt like i was going to pass out my teacher sent me to the nurses ofice and from there i was sent home that day we were celebrating my moms birthday and before anyone came over i went to the clinic i told them i didnt know what was going on to check everything that night the doctor called and said i had to be admitted to the hospital right away that night i got 4 bags of blood. i was diagnosed with ALL on September 24 2009. i lost majority of my hair after the second round of chemotherapy. and decided to talk to my social worker about getting a hair peice i was really concerned about my looks of course like any teen i wanna be pretty but loosing my hair was the hardest i know it will grow back but im not use to it yet.. on my moms birthday september 25 i had my first bone marrow it hurt so bad i guess my bones are super strong they had to make 5 holes on one side and seven on the other on my bday oct 9 i was admitted to the hospital once again my blood count was so low that i got bacteria from my intestines into my blood stream.. after i finally came home i was really depressed but seeing my family so sad i realized that i should be thankful im alive so i changed everything around became as posittive as i can going through this phase in my life i think of it as a nightmare that soon i will wake from(:

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1700330286 Farah Contractor

    i know exactly how you feel. if someone isnt goin through the same things as you, they dont understand. when my counts are low some of my friends call and ask to hang out or go to the mall. i tell them that i cant and they still get annoyed with me. its tough during induction but maitenince is the easiet. and i agree with sarah cuz i had to get an ng tube too and trust me they SUCK! i lost 10% of my body weight which is bad cuz i didnt hav a lot to start with. dont worry you’ll have your life back in no time. good luck with everything :)

  • miss friendly

    alo astrogal I hope you are doing well I was wondering if you could E-mail I would love to talk to you:) Klemax10@rghs.org.za thanks:)

  • Sparx101angel

    many people just say stay strong because they dont know know what else to say..but I am sure they mean it and really want you to get better.
    Everyone is thinking of you.
    p.s someone that goes through this has to be strong..so im sure you are.
    With love
    Max.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1610011937 Quinton Cook

    Hey my name’s Q and I was diagnosed wit ALL June 22, 2010. Ive had to stand all the crap of intental and remession tremeant and ive been on maintence for a few days now. And yeah my doctors gave me the happy-go-lucky speech too; everybody feels better, ull have more energy, less treatments blah blah blah. Was happy at first but then saw that I hade to take 6MP pills, which give me morning sickness like a pregnate woman, every night I was like “well wtf”. Chalk that up with the sterch marks, tiredness, round face, and fricken strait hair (I used to be curly before the chemo, and not trying to sound like a girl, but I miss them a lot…). So life still kinda sucks donkey balls and I totally get you guys, (sigh) but not like we got much of a choice but to live with it though right?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1610011937 Quinton Cook

    Hey my name’s Q and I was diagnosed wit ALL June 22, 2010. Ive had to stand all the crap of intental and remession tremeant and ive been on maintence for a few days now. And yeah my doctors gave me the happy-go-lucky speech too; everybody feels better, ull have more energy, less treatments blah blah blah. Was happy at first but then saw that I hade to take 6MP pills, which give me morning sickness like a pregnate woman, every night I was like “well wtf”. Chalk that up with the sterch marks, tiredness, round face, and fricken strait hair (I used to be curly before the chemo, and not trying to sound like a girl, but I miss them a lot…). So life still kinda sucks donkey balls and I totally get you guys, (sigh) but not like we got much of a choice but to live with it right?

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