I was diagnosed with ALL on September 29,2009. Since then, I’ve finished my freshmen year of high school at home and finished 3 phases of chemotherapy treatment. Now I’m in maitenance and it’s supposed to be the easiest phase, but its been pretty difficult so far. Instead of spending 4th of July in Disneyworld like I was supposed to, I was stuck in the hospital with a fever and super low blood counts. I’ve been off most of my chemo for about a month now because I had a rash, but my blood counts are still taking forever to improve. It’s really frustrating because it’s preventing me from going on my vacations and going out with my friends. It’s hard to explain this to any of my friends because they don’t truely understand. They just keep telling me to stay strong, but in order to stay strong you had to be strong in the first place and I don’t feel very strong. To top it all off, all of the changes that my body has been going through has made me extremely self conscious. I didn’t lose all of my hair, but it is significantly thinner, I’ve gained about 15-20 pounds, and I have tons of stretchmarks, oh yeah and my face has become the roundest thing I’ve ever seen. I handled everything really well for the past 10 months, but now I’m really starting to lose it. Thanks for letting me vent.
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