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who knows what im going through

ok well im new to this site man do i wish i hadd known about this site earlier ok i had aul luekemia not to long ago and if u dont know what aul is its i had all and aml plus i had bmt ok well now im good and starting to get back to normal well now none of my friends talk to me they talked to me barely during treatment but now none at all. and if by chance they see my they either dont know what to say or all they want to talk about is cancer im so tired of this what do i do?

September 1, 2010 by  
Filed under Survivor Stories

19 Comments

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  • Colleen

    Hi! I totally know what you are going through. I had aplastic anemia as a baby (basically, my bone marrow stopped producing any blood cells) and I’ve had a lot of long-term side effects from that. So sometimes my friends have no idea how to cope especially if they haven’t known me long enough to see me go through a hospital stay or something like that. I have lost friends over this, but more for totally insensitive comments. One of my friends in high school (I am in college now) told me she was jealous I missed school for two weeks because her parents never skipped and I was like, “excuse me?! I was in the ICU!” I was having problems with her already, she was being mean to another of my friends before this happened, and after that felt like the friendship wasn’t really worth it. But if you can, I would try to let your friends know how you feel. You can say something directly and tell them you need them to be your friends now, you are still the same person, and if they feel scared about the situation or don’t know what to say they can be honest with you. I have had a friend tell me a few times that she is amazed I have been through all that I have because she could never deal with it, and I was SOOOO glad she was honest with me instead of ignoring me because then we could talk about it. I have another friend who is scared by my problems/can’t deal with them but she would never admit that to me and tends to change the subject or ignore it which as you stated, is super annoying (I just want to say, these are MY problems, they are NOT your problems, and I am okay with them, so stop freaking out!). Or you could try to change the subject/bring something up, to direct them away from your cancer and make them feel less awkward. Like I usually talk to my friends about celebrity gossip when I am sick because it requires no thought, lol, or ask what’s up with school. If they act weird you can just say something like, “hey, I have to live with cancer all the time, I want to talk about something else!” And finally I always try to make a joke out of things. Usually this takes my friends a long time to get used to but once they see it’s okay for you to be laughing at it they will start laughing along and it totally eases the mood. I hope this helps… I totally understand what you are going through and it is hard because your friends aren’t being there for you when you need them the most.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1418506762 Sarah Sims

    Heey. i have ALL acute lymphocytic leukemia. i have a year and a half of chemo left. i kinda know what ur talking about. in the beginning my friends would talk to me everyday visit me in hospital. and now nothing. i have to call them or message them. and sometimes no reply. before i could not go out at all because of puking and i ended up in a wheel chair. now i can do a lot more like i use to. i dont get invited anywhere they dont want to come over at all. i am going back to school this year and im going to feel like a new kid coz no one will talk to me. with me i want to talk about what i went through but they dont wanna here it. i found alot of great friends on here but most of them live far.

    • hereforme

      yeah like i went to a my highschools football game and all the these people who said we are here for u in the beinging now saw and me just smiled i sucked no one talked to me

  • http://www.facebook.com/candancepilar Candace Rodriguez

    I have aml and i really get that. People think ur weird i swear im so sick of it!

    • hereforme

      gezz dont even get me started

  • Tair

    Hi,
    I was diagnosed with anaplastic astrocytoma and agressive and highly malignat spinal cancer when I was 2. I was then diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 3 and then lymphoma when I was 10 and skin cancer when I was 13.
    I’m now 19 nearly 20.
    The spinal and crain cancers being the most dangerous and agressive have cause paralisis of my left arm, patial paralisis of my left side, scoliosis, kyphosis and lordosis. I have also had epilepsy and sevre brain damage causing learning and social issues.
    Now i’m at the point that i just dont think i can do it anymore- it just seems that everything is going down hill.
    I don’t know what to do.
    I attempted suicide a few years ago obviously i’m not dead.
    I want to ask my friends for help but i dont want to hurt them or scare them- but i dont want to live anymore and certainly talking to a psych is not an option i see.

    • http://www.facebook.com/Walex.Whittle Walex Whittle

      you can email me if you like? (solo.n.me@hotmail.co.uk)

    • sarah

      hun u can talk 2 me anytime spidysarah@yahoo.com

  • http://www.facebook.com/Walex.Whittle Walex Whittle

    what I hate is the people who didn’t talk to you before because they just didn’t get along with you, and now they do. It’s like they pity you or something. Blegh. Also when i went into school today to see people, there wer a ton of rumours going around and people stare and stuff. And the questions they ask… really really stupid ones. Its laughable.

    • hereforme

      yeah i went to school to visit and someone who i though was my friend looked at and said “omg your alive i though u died!” they thought i had died thats great…

      • http://www.facebook.com/Walex.Whittle Walex Whittle

        they thought i’d left the country and had a baby, stuff like that. pretty much the whole year too. I was stunned at how interesting i am to talk about… so fab… all the support, too. so caring. not gossiping AT ALL.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1694951545 Jessica Lepe

    Yeah things just aren’t the same Im 16 and almost done with my chemos. I had osteosarcoma. Friends aren’t as great as they said they’d be. I’d love to talk to anyone who needs someone to talk to. Talk to me on Facebook :)

    • Vanessa Ibarra

      Hi my name is Vanessa and I am also 16. I have whats called myxopapillary ependymoma which just basically means cancer and a tumor in your spinal cord. I was diagnosed November 18, 2009 and when I told my friends no one would come and see me, I only have one friend who has actually stuck around but its hard since she has a bf and is pregnant. But I would love to talk to you sometime email me and I also have a facebook.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1694951545 Jessica Lepe

        Im not exactly sure how to email you Lol

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1216351766 Chantel Quintyn

    im really sorry to hear about that. i have lymphoma and i havent been able to go to school yet, i’ve been too sick. im already hearing the rumors of people talking about what im going through when they don’t really know whats going on. and i hate pity, like its not need what so ever.

    • Sali

      Hey there Chantel, People will talk and they do it well. But you need to focus on yourself. Please spend time worrying about other people. Its fustrating but your health is first. I am also diagnose with Hodgkins Lyphoma. I am 23 and still battling this monster but if you have faith then you will be okay. but for now focus on you and forget others.

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1700330286 Farah Contractor

        hey chantel i just finished treatment for lymphoma. i haven’t been to school since january. my advice is dont worry about school or like Sali said, other people. who cares what other people say…let them think whatever they want. why not give them a show? i know exactly what u mean about pity. i absolutely despise when people look at me like im so fragile i’ll break. me and my best friend split up because she would not stop with pity crap. she called me weak to my face. and a bunch of other things. stay strong and you’ll make it through!

  • Louanne Conley

    Okay, This isreally sad. i haven’t had to go through this but I’m sure it’s hard. they were obviously not true friends. I’ve had alot of them too. umm I’m in girlscouts and we are getting a cancer patient friend. i added you on facebook accept my friend reguest and we can talk more. Thanks

    Louanne Nicole Conley

    Ps: i’ve always wanted to do this! it’s mainly the reason why I joined girl scouts!

  • Mari

    Heey guys I love knowing I’m not the only one out there feeling the same. I have all and at the begining my friends from school were great but gradually they just stopped including me as much and stopped listening. People hoo have not had cancer will never understand how icolating it can be. Luckly I have an amazing mum and family and friends out of school but it sometimes feels my friends in school use me for attention except a few x a girl on my street who was my best friend for a long time when we were young- well her mum doesn’t even speak to me now. Also I wear a very realistic wig and have been acused of not even having cancer. What kind of person did they think I was ? Would anyone in their mind think about lying about that

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