Finally, someone who understands.

Hi there,

my name is Claire and I was diagnosed with HCC around 3 years ago in Denmark. Since then I’ve had chemo’s in Denmark and lost all my hair which is now all back. Then I went to New York (love America!) for a living donor (my daddy) transplant. I was in hospital for 11 days and then got out :) Happiest day of my life. Since then I’ve been fine, only some minor problems here and there. But these days I’ve been really having a tough time.

I’ve been trying some time to find a site that could help, but never found any until a friend told my mom about this site. Is it normal for someone to be fine for the two years and then all of a sudden hit an all out low? My friends really don’t get any of what I’ve been through and that can be really frustrating. Help? I have no idea how to get over this low period. And my stress levels are going to start building soon because of exams… How am I going to cope?

May 22, 2011 by  
Filed under Community

  • Karen

    Claire,

    I have been feeling exactly the same way that you have! I think about it all the time how no one understands. It’s been 6 years that I have been in remission and I feel worse now then when I was going through treatment. Today is my first day starting ani-depressant/anxiety medicine and also the first day I have been on this website. So far, today has been…ok. And I know that just reading and commenting on other people’s stories is helping me share something that I never though could be shared survival, moving on and most of all understanding.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=831085787 Kimberlee Deutsch

    Yeah… Why is it that when we are going through everything seems so hard and we say to ourselves, we just need to get through this and make it out on top..? And then when we do make it out on top things almost seem harder than they were before and almost seem more unbearable…
    I don’t really know what or why it is this way or has to be. But in the week from having my last surgery to remove the tumors(not even enough to have real affects) I have been almost feeling worse than I was when I was going through it all and had to keep saying only 3 more, 2 more, last one… I thought it would have been easier. But I feel like after spending so much time trying to just focus on “getting better” (if you would have asked me what I was doing over the past year, or what my plan was, that was it!) And now that’s it’s over, it’s just done nothing. I don’t feel great, I don’t feel bad, it’s kind of just what it is…
    Now I know this is not it, this is not the end, there is SO much more in this life than just getting by. I am starting reading the book “Heaven Is For Real” (Highly recommend for a good and inspirational read!) I know there is a God who is WAY bigger than any and all of this, so than why do I often come up feeling so empty and alone, But I just can’t shake the feeling and completely wrap my head around the fact that there has to be more to suffering and hardships than to just get by and be stronger physically and spiritually in the end.

    One of my favorite songs…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ

  • Claire

    Thank you both so much.

    I am out five years now. This summer I spent in the hospital for issues with my bile duct and spleen, resulting in a surgery.

    The lows and have gotten less. I started taking art therapy to help deal with my issues and it really has worked.

    I met another girl who had to have a transplant like me. I knew she’d be fine because she had the same fire as I did back then. For us not making it wasn’t even a possibility.

    Thank again!
    Claire.

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