Missing you.

I am a two time cancer survivor. This summer has been a bad summer. I wanted the summer before my senior year of high school to be amazing, but it was so upsetting. I have lost 5 friends from the end of May to the beginning of September. They were all cancer patients. I spent my summer at funerals.

When I lost my friend Val in May, it didn’t hit hard until my friend Kenzie died in June. Once she passed, I was so upset. My friend Shane, who didn’t live in town, finally came into town the second week of June to seek a second opinion on his treatment. When the doctors here didn’t say what he wanted to hear, he moved back home. I was just blessed that I got to see him. I hadn’t seen him in almost two years. I never would have thought that was the last time I would ever talk to him or give him a hug or tell him I love him. He passed two weeks later. When I got that phone call, I denied it. I knew it couldn’t be true. I didn’t want to accept the fact that my best friend was gone. We talked all the time. But the two weeks leading up to his passing, he wasn’t answering the phone. I figured it was because he was going through chemo again. I never expected the worst.

Then about two weeks after I got that phone call, I got another phone call saying my close friend Matt passed from a brain tumor. I knew he was sick, but they were giving him so much hope. I went to Matt’s funeral the day before I went to camp. It hit me pretty hard that Matt was gone while we were up at camp. Matt loved camp and so being up there without him was very hard. It didn’t hit me that Shane was really gone until I came back from camp that weekend. I went to call him just to check up and vent to him like I always did. and the service of his phone was off. I became so depressed.

I am not sure why God has put all these people in my life, but they have definitely left an imprint on my heart.

Sorry for venting. I have had it bottled up way to long and I know this is a place where I can vent.