Knowing and yet not knowing
It’s Ali again. I was trying to figure out how to get it so I won’t be a TLC guest anymore and all the posts will show up under my name but I couldn’t figure it out, alas my horrible computer skills.
Life is so confusing for me right now, and I need to write somewhere. I feel like no one has ever been where I am, no one has ever gone through this.
So, question… Has anybody ever known what their diagnosis is going to be, even before the testing?
I’ve been undiagnosed for 4 years, and 6 days ago everything finally clicked, and I knew. I knew without a doubt what my diagnosis was going to be, what area of the body my mysterious monster was located in.
Has anybody ever experienced that before? I’m finding it’s really tough – to know and yet not know. I know what it is, yet i don’t have a diagnosis. it’s like I’m stuck in between two places, between the actual diagnosis and the whirlwind that comes along with treatment and whatever, and the not knowing. It’s crazy.
Maybe this doesn’t make any sense, my thoughts don’t really make sense anymore. I just feel so alone today, and I want to know if anybody is out there who knows what I’m talking about (and doesn’t think I’m crazy!)