Hi! I am Ruby. I was supposed to come to this website four years ago when I was first diagnosed. But at that time, I was overwhelmed with my diagnosis and didn’t want to talk to anyone or see anything related to cancer. Today, I found this card that my social worker gave me back in 2009 and decided to share my story.
I was diagnosed with a stage 3 rhabdomyosarcoma a few days before my 15th birthday. At that time, I didn’t really understand what was going on, I just knew that I had to get treatment for 10 months and I couldn’t go to school during that period. It turned out it was so much more than I expected: 3 cycles of chemo and 28 rounds of radiation, losing hair, having virtually no friends to talk to ( They just didn’t understand). Luckily, I have two very caring parents and family members, I kept fighting. Eventually when the chemo ended after 1 year, instead of 10 months ( bc I was too weak to have any more chemo some time so they had to delay the chemo), I was actually reluctant of going to school, because I didn’t have any hair. (And my school is very straight about not having hat/cap on once we enter the school building) After all the worrying about going to school with hair disappeared after I learned that I had to wait until the Spring semester to return to school anyway. So I continued with Home Schooling in the meantime. Because I no longer had a suppressed immune system, I was allowed to have anything I want ( I love eating!). So I ate lots of SUSHI (my favorite), fried things, steak! (second favorite) in that period and thinking that it’s all over.
So I started going back to school as a junior in Spring, with short hair (guy’s hair). My old friends were supportive in school. They waited for me after class, walked with me to the train station, told me jokes that I still remember today. Life was starting to get better. One month later, I was told that I had a relapse. At that time, I was really upset; “I had done what I was told to do, I did nothing wrong, I didn’t kill anyone or even punch anyone?! Why do I have to suffer?” I was really fearful at that time because anyone who has gone though chemo knows how painful that is. Desperate for a new normal life, and, sort of, because of my superstition, I switched to another hospital. I knew I made a right decision when I met my doctor there. He gave me many treatment plans and explained to me carefully. This time, the chemo was less severe and my hair didn’t fall off. ( I was really grateful for that) So I continued this less painful treatment along with 20 or so radiation while I returned to Home Schooling. All the scans showed good progress and it was time for High School graduation. My doctor and I were discussing check-ups in a hospital near my College because it was time for the chemo to finish up. I was really excited for college, the classmates I met in the student meeting were friendly, the college offered classes I love taking. At the same time, I was also preparing for my road test and I was leaving for my trip that Make-A-Wish has arranged for me. That summer was full of excitement and hope. Then, one day ( about two weeks before my departure, I found a bump on my shoulder bone, and it turned out to be another relapse. My doctor quickly ordered another round of radiation and, luckily, it was just that one tumor. So I left for my trip after the radiation, still happy and excited.
As I was traveling, however, I noticed there’s a little bump on my neck, so I contacted my doctor, and he said it’s better for me to continue enjoying my trip than returning immediately ( I know he made a good decision for me because that trip was amazing!)So by the time, I returned that bump grew into the size of a mango. I hope a radiation could take of it, like last time. But I wasn’t lucky this time, cancer cells have spread to other parts of the body, neck, lymph nodes, rib …etc. ( I don’t really know the detail, I just know it’s pretty bad) So I immediately went through intense chemotherapy and postponed college.
Now, I am still continuing chemo and hoping that it’d end soon because if I can’t go to school this fall, I’d have to reapply to college. One thing that’s different is that I no longer blame anyone or anything for this — I know if I want to get better, I have to work for it: eat less meat and exercise more. I used to be and still sometimes am a passive and pessimistic person. If you are like me, Here’s a trick for you: Just don’t think about the bad things at all, that way you will never get depressed. Whenever a gloomy thing comes across your mind, Just think about the good things. Believe you can win and you will win. Believe there’s a future ahead of you. Believe someday you will be freed and able to fly away from these nightmares. Meanwhile, prepare yourselves to fly! Try to be optimistic!
If you’d like to talk, feel free to email me at email@example.com
Good luck to all of you! Keep fighting!
I had the choice to choose treatment or to let the cancer run it’s course, I chose life. Now I feel like I am wasting my life in a hospital because I chose treatment. I have missed so many things because of the cancer and I feel like I am going to miss a lot more. Has anyone else ever felt this way? What am I suppose to do?
When i was first diagnosed i didnt want to bother anyone for anything. I am a very independent person. My had a tumor in my leg which caused my thigh to break. I was put in a hip spica cast. So basically i couldnt really get up to the washroom or even dress myself. its the worst when you cant even get your own pants on yourself. i eventually learned to ask for help if i needed it.
My treatment plan included 6 rounds of chemotherapy, limb salvage surgery, 8 more rounds of chemo with 28 rounds of radiation. Ive gone threw 2 port a caths (first one broke) and have gotten a stomach tube since ive been diagnosed, and have had 8 surgeries.My chemotherapy used to make me so sick i was in the hospital for 9 weeks when i started and i could eat at all . Currently i have 2 more chemo rounds left. im still recovering from my leg salvage surgery and im on crutches. Ive recently gone back to school.
I still considered my self very blessed. I live in a loving small community. I have supportive friends and family. They actually did a few fundraisers at school and in the community. Ive received endless cards, and many gifts. I also am at one of the best hospital in Canada and i have an amazing oncology team. I have a school trip to Quebec City and ottawa to look forward too, as well as a summer camp for kids have or had cancer.
It gets better
Hi my name is Savannah, I am 17 years old, and on April 1st I was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer. I have stage 4 Cholangiocarcinoma located in my liver and one of my lymph nodes that surrounds it. The reason that the cancer is considered rare is because Cholangiocarcinoma is normally not found in young people or the liver. I have been trying so hard to be positive and have hope that the situation will get better, but it is becoming harder and harder to be optimistic. I want to honestly say that the severity of all the news really didn’t hit me until here recently and I feel like I am starting to break. I always have family around and my boyfriend has been so good to me since we got the news, he is at the hospital everyday to support me, but for some reason I still feel so alone. I also feel like I am such a burden on everyone since they always have to help me and take care of me now, they say that I shouldn’t think that way, but up until this month I was a very independant person. I had my own job, did my own schooling, and for the most part was begining to take care of myself in an adult manner, and now I am stuck laying in bed, with no job, and having people take care of me, it is driving me crazy and making me feel bad for taking up so much of peoples time. I just dont know what to do or what the next step should be, I am so confused, upset and sometimes I just get mad for no reason. I am always feeling guilty for taking my anger out on my loved ones and I know they hate me for it but it feels like I can’t help it, since I started chemo I have been so moody it’s unreal. Well if you took the time to read all of this, thank you, I just needed to get it out and maybe get some advice while I am venting. Thanks again and god bless
I was diagnosed w Leukemia just recently.
I am 10 wks from 18.
I am unsure of what my future w Leukemia may hold.
But I am fearless bc I believe God is on my side.
Even if I lose my hair, I won’t lose myself.
Bc I have Leukemia, Leukemia dose not have me.
I like to make new friends who understand cancer.
E-mail me if you wanna be friends.
Hi! I’m 12 so not exactly a teen, but my doctors are 99% sure I have ALL leukemia. I really don’t want to have cancer, but I have all the symptoms, and the bone marrow biopsy showed cancer cells. I start chemo on Monday. I most likely have ALL, but they aren’t quite sure yet. Any advice?
Im 14yrs old living in California and fighting a battle with Cancer “ALL” Leukemia.I have been battling since the age of 3yrs old. I have relapsed 3 times and on my 3rd time now.The first 2 times It was discovered in my bone marrow. This time it was found in my spinal fluid”CNS”. Each treatment is 2 1/2yrs. Iam currently 1yr and 2months into this treatment and although iv had many hard times and very scary moments today Iam doing well.Iv just been told that Iam exspected to under go Radiation. it is kinda scary but I have been doing this for so long ive learnd all you can really do during scary moments like this is too be possitive and strong.If anyone can continue to help me stay possitive and strong or just show your support,it would put a smile on my face….. know im not alone,I have an army…We need a cure!!!!
I’ve never posted on here before, but I think it is time to talk to some people who know how I feel. I was diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma when I was 17, and now am 20, at college, cancer free, but technically in remission for 2 years now. I was the first person in my family to ever have cancer and I thought I’d be the last. My family and I have been moving on from cancer, and now we find out that my grandmother has cancer. We are so close with her, and I can’t explain how upset just the fact itself that she has cancer makes me, but what really hurts is to see my mom go through this again. I feel guilty and helpless because she has to see the two women she loves most experience cancer, and I can’t help her because I am one of them. I don’t understand how this can happen. How God would do this to our family. I hate that I hurt so many people, and just as they recover from my cancer, we have to worry about someone else’s cancer. I don’t know how to help anyone, or what to say/do. I am so confused and disappointed. I thought this was all behind us. I know that this happens to other people too, but you never think it can be you, until it is. Hopefully at least one person can relate.
Hi my name is alysha and I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma at the age of 10, It was very hard I went through about 6 surgery, the cancer spread to my lung but they were able to take it out. I went through a rough 26 rounds of chemo. When I had one of my surgery I hallucinated about 2 times! It was terrible. I am currently 13 and my cancer came back in the same arm): in my left arm I have very limited movement and that is very hard for me to adjust to. Well if you have a similar story I would be very open to talk to you about it! Thanks for reading!
I was diagnosed with ALL, a type of Leukemia, nearly 2.5 years ago on June 22, 2010 when I was 18 and a new High School Graduate. I was told it was going to be a three year treatment and I thought I could handle it. I’m 21 now and at college and I’ll be finished when I’m 22. I’m at my 8 month count down (end date is in Oct. 27, 2013) but now I’m getting more and more scared and I don’t know why. I was ok at first, even though the first few months were hell. When I got my first bone marrow biopsy, my parents were much more scared for me than I was. But now that I take daily pills and once a month treatments, it seems like this will never end. I think my support system is going downhill. My parents got divorced last year; it was coming for a while but I think the stress of my treatments helped pushed it over the edge. They both love me and support me, but it seems like the whole structure of my family is gone and that was something I was afraid of ever since I was a kid. I don’t know, I think I just have to man up and take it, but sometimes it’s hard. I know that there are people that have it much, much, worse than me; and seeing others struggles make me grateful for what I have. I think as a survivor I owe it to them to live my life to the fullest and do Gods work. But every time I see those pills in my hand before I go to sleep, it all just seems… wasted. Like I struggled all that time and I’m still not allowed to stop. I shouldn’t feel this way and it’s very frustrating. Does anyone know what to do? Or felt this way as well?