Chemo, love hate relationship.

I hate chemo. I hate it so much, the nausea, the jelly knees, the fatigue, the vomitting, the hair in the bottom of the shower and all over my pillow and in my hands. There are so many terrible side effects, the cure can be worse than the disease.

However, its the cure, and it will make me better. Its the only thing that will get rid of the cancer, and its helping me.

Its very weird to hate the thing saving your life this much.

So…sick… I hate chemo treatments.

My name is Caleb. I’m 17, and I have Leukemia. I was diagnosed almost a month ago now, and I’m starting my Chemotherapy. Yesterday afternoon, I started my second round.

Thank God the first round was easy on me. This second round is really kicking my butt.

I didn’t feel really well yesterday morning, anyways. And I had the option of either having the treatment this morning, or yesterday afternoon at 4, and I opted for yesterday afternoon, because I had a track meet this morning.

I got there around 4:00, and they hooked me up. I sat in the seat, and waited for it to finish dripping.

Halfway through, I got a HUGE headache. I mean, this was the worst pain I’ve ever had in my head. It felt like someone was hitting me in the head with a hammer.

I finished and went home about 2 hours later, after talking to some really close friends in the treatment place.

I got home, and went to lie down and watch a movie. My head was still pounding.

This morning, I woke up, and automatically felt sick. I stood up, and I was extremely dizzy. I spent the better part of the morning in and out of the restroom, and sleeping on the bathroom floor. I hate that.

I was usually pretty healthy. I never got sick before all of this happened, and I’m not used to it. I don’t like it.

After my numerous restroom trips, I finally worked up enough strength to make it down stairs to say good morning to my amazing mother, and I sat down at the kitchen table, and laid my head down. My mom felt my forehead, and took my temp and all that. Granted- she’s not used to this quite yet, either. She’s used to healthy kids, I mean, none of my 5 brothers have ever had anything that compares to this, and neither has my sister. Quite frankly, neither have I. She’s not very fond of us being sick at all, I mean, the flu season is a terrible time for her! I was running a fever of like… 102, I think. And my head was still killing me.

She sent me to lie on the living room couch, and when I laid down, I turned on Fired Up!, and soon fell asleep.

I woke up about an hour later, and I felt a HUGE surge of nausea, and I leapt for the restroom.

See, now, this is where my story gets pretty pitiful. I hate being sick. SO much. I absolutely despise it. But I’m smart enough to expect it with Chemo.

So, I spent a lot of my afternoon throwing up, and falling asleep, and throwing up, and falling asleep again, and on and on.

Needless to say, I didn’t have a very good day.

I hate Chemo treatments.

Who’s with me?